 Prospect Already Has Someone
Else - Bert
I met this girl three months ago and we really get
along well. All the while I know that she doesn't have a
boyfriend. I call her up from time to time and even
managed to accompany her home. I came to the point when I
asked her out and she refused. I asked her why and she
said that she already has a commitment with someone else
(though not exactly her boyfriend). That was the time
also that I told her of my intentions to court her.
I am at a lost of what to do. Do I let go of her or do
I fight for my feelings. She told me not to do the latter
"cause it's not worth it."
 From: Bernd
I found myself in very similar situations in my teens,
and it was frustrating as anything!
For whatever reasons, this girl doesn't want your
relationship to become any closer than it is. The only
thing "fighting for your feelings" will likely
accomplish is to drag out your anguish and confusion.
Take a pillow, and beat the crap out of it to let the
pressure off some of the natural anger I supect you're
feeling.
In my case, my "need" for a relationship was
even bigger because I found it difficult to make and keep
friends; a relationship supposedly would have helped
relieve some of my loneliness. But it couldn't. I found
that out many years later. My suggestion is try to focus
more of your energies on building
"friendships", including whatever friendship
level you are comfortable with this girl (and whatever
she's comfortable with).
My hunch is that the more friendships you develop, the
less hungry you'll be for a relationship, and the more
healthy one will be when it falls into your lap seemingly
out of nowhere.
Hang in there guy.
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