 Courage or Cowardice? - Susan
I recently started attending an S-Anon group. There
are about 14 women in the group, I met 8 of them at the
first meeting. All 8 were married and their husbands were
downstairs at the Sexaholics meeting.
Now, the point is, I filed for divorce from my SA (Sex
Addict), and have managed to totally alienate him with my
rage and anger at his addiction (and myself !!). I felt
very strange at the meeting... half of me was saying
" You are the smart one, you got out of that sick
relationship" BUT the other half of me was saing
"You miserable coward, how could you leave, these
women are fighting to save their marriage - Why didn't
you". Now, I realize that it is totally subjective
on my part as to whether there was anything in that
marriage worth saving.
The questions I have are: do you folks think this is a
"normal" reaction to the group there OR is it
possible for me to fit in with this group, given that I
have no "relationship" to discuss as an ongoing
subject? Just need a little conversation about it to get
it "set" in my head. Thanks all !!
PS. No other CoSA or S-Anon in the area. The CoDA
group I went to could NEVER handle this subject!!!
 From: Bernd
A relationship that has anger as one of it's main
emotions is just as powerful a relationship as one that
has love or anything else. And your past together menas
you will ALWAYS have a relationship, no matter how little
you see of each other. The meetings definitely sound like
a good place. The doubt and confusion is normal - they
got you there - why shouldn't they go in the meeting with
you???:)
From: Susan
OK... Sometimes you are just SOOOOOOO right!! But I
had a moment of panic when you said I would always have a
relationship with him - sometimes truth hurts too !!!
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