 |
 Fake orgasms - Boots
I have been involved with a man for just over a year.
We have a very deep intimate relationship and can discuss
everything. We even talk freely about our sex life except
for this one subject: I can't seem to be able to cum when
we have sex. We have a very exciting and loving sex life.
I can bring myself to an orgasm NO PROBLEM and have done
so even after we have just finished(and he's on his way
to the bathroom). I believe he knows this is happening
90% of the time. I am embarrassed about this I feel like
I am Super Goddess in the sack in every way but for this.
I enjoy sex with my man and he says he has never been
with anyone like me. Why is this so hard for me to
discuss with my man? He has asked me about it before but
I could not tell him my true feelings about not being
able to cum. I'm afraid he'll feel bad--not a good
lover-- but that's not it. How come I can not let go like
I know I am very capable of doing? Anyhow, can a guy tell
the difference between a fake and the real thing? How can
I bring this up now ? Any comments or suggestions
welcome!
 From: Bernd
My guess is that your fear about bringing it up may
very well be a large part of your struggle with orgasms
themselves. Fear is a heckuva damper on sexual feelings.
I have a very similar struggle - even tho I can reach
orgasm, I usually have to "block out" to have
one. I suspect that there's a panic inside that
"this" might be the thing that's starts the
whole ball of thread unravelling; that here you finally
have a great relationship, and if you bring this up,
somehow it could be the start of things suddenly going
sour.
What helped with Lynda, when we talked about my
problem, was reminding her that it was a struggle in ME,
and not a struggle "about her". I didn't know
the cause, or the cure, but it really helped when she let
it be MY struggle, and didn't try to fix it for me. The
nicest thing she could do (and has done) is help me feel
safe talking about it with her whenever I need to, and
not blaming herself. That's helped a ton. The more I try
"not" to talk about a struggle I have, the
harder that struggle becomes, I find. So I'm finally
learning - why go thru all that agony, when I'm
eventually gonna blurt it out anyway?:) Hope some of this
helps.
|
