 Divorce after an affair (or two)
- MZET
It is with great sadness and agony that I write. for
the nth. time I am getting a divorce. this time is for
real, though.. the agreement should be signed tomorrow or
soon thereafter. things should be official within a month
or two. I should be moving out this week or soon
thereafter.
the whole story is posted in this site. quick summary:
four kids, 10 years married, wife has two affairs,
husband goes through his anger, pain, acceptance,
forgiveness stages, each time, etc., wife says she still
doesn’t love husband that she wants to continue to
meet other men, husband waits patiently until he sees no
way out.... it sounds like a novel, like Madame Bovary or
Anna Kerenina. anybody read them?
I share this with a sense of guilt, perhaps wondering
if I couldn’t have worked on myself or my marriage
harder... but I have realized for a while that until my
wife decides to WANT to change, there is very little hope
for the marriage.
anyway, just wanted to thank Bernd (and Lynda!!), once
again, for having provided me with this forum within
which to share my story and learn from others who have
gone through the hell of an affair--or two :)
ultimately, I am convinced that this whole mess was
less about her and more about me. many of the paradoxes
Bernd and Lynda talk about do make sense, but not
rationally, I have found, but through the lens of a leap
of faith into the unknown within us, because it is only
when we lose our selves, our rationality, our wills, our
desires, that we may find our true selves, and it is in
finding our true selves that everything, especially
suffering, makes sense. and it does!
 From: kim
(wolfie)
I'm sorry Mzet. I know you have worked so hard - you
have grown sooooo much thru all of this and it shows in
your writing. My prayers are with you.
From: Susan
Mzet, I am so sorry to read your post. I know you
tried, you tried so hard and all of us admire you for
your courage and your strength. Please don't leave us
behind... we all still need your words. We will be here
for you ...... to lend you our strength as you have so
often lent yours to others.
From: Bernd
I feel for you guy. I know it's hard as hell
sometimes, and you've had more than your share thru this
winding road. I dunno what God has in store for you, but
I'm still here with you, side by side, wherever your path
takes you.
From: Lynda
Mzet, Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to
understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom.
Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon.
They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on
our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.
You have left your footprints on my, and many others
hearts with your honesty and committment to recovery and
the quest for answers to allow us all to love purer and
be better human beings. I feel deep for you with this
crossroad that you have come to and hope that as you
continue your journey you will keep in touch so we can
continue to share it in some small way. It helps us all
as we face our own crossroads, and you have become a
friend that I don't want to loose touch with.
From: drew
MZET-- Kim said exactly what I wanted to. . . "my
how you have grown!" At this point, though, I'm sure
you feel only the growing pains and not the handsome
personality you have blossomed into. I just wanted to
give you a hug, too, and say DITTO! to what your good
friends have expressed here. Someday when the reason for
this path you are on finally becomes apparent to you,
we'll want to hear about THAT, too . . . Bless you, our
good friend!
From: barry
dear Mzet... i'm sorry to hear that all your efforts
haven't produced the outcome you would of desired...
guess we're all being lead in different directions...
listen to that wonderful inner voice of yours and follow
your heart... thanks also for supporting me and sharing
your thoughts! don't be a stranger huh? *big open arm
hugs*
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