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 Says she loves me but don't show
it - Texas
I've been married to my wife for 4 years now. We have
a son, good jobs etc. I am the type of guy who is
romantic, compassionate and believes that married is the
true joining of two people as one. I also believe this,
true love in relationship or marriage is based on two
components, 1. Love is how you feel about yourself when
your with that person, and 2. the expression of love
resonate from within the heart. My wife seems to now have
a very difficult time expressing and showing me that she
loves me. As with all marriages, we have had some minor
problems that we have worked out. I feel isolated from
her because I have so much love to give and as she has
admitted, she does not feel the same way about me, though
she says she love me. I'm at this point confused and
frustrated, and have be contemplating divorce. We've
tried counselling and other means of dealing with this
problem to no avail. Please advise!
 From: Daisy
Although I cannot offer much help I can empathise. I
am in a 4 year relationship, with marriage in 2 months,
and there is little intimacy and affection. I am a very
loving person who has been burnt time an again by his
lack of reciprocation. He claims that he is not "the
affectionate type"...but I am not asking for BIG
changes...after all I compromise by not getting the
affection I need. Anyway...I read somewhere that as long
as 80% of your needs are met and that the relationship
had spark then it was pretty darn good. On the other
hand, if only 50% of your needs are being met it is
probably not a good match. I am still in the calculation
phase but am coming up with pretty good numbers despite
the lack of affection...GOOD LUCK
From: cindy
I can really feel what your going through. I was
married for 13 years, and my husband sound just like your
wife. I am now single with 2 children. It was very hard
to adjust but what kept me going was thinking "do I
was to spend the rest of my life feeling unloved".
"NO WAY". I would rather love my children and
them feel loved by me other then them see no love from
him.
From: Lo
I am watching my son go through the breakdown of a
relationship that lacks affection and intimacy. After 4
years and two children--and the problems a couple endures
during those periods, his girlfriend no longer wants any
physical or emotional contact with him. She doesn't want
him to leave, they are a good parenting team. I've seen
first hand what the lack of physical contact and
emotional nurturing can do to a person. This couple has
been through some rough times financially and physically.
As a result, my son had a nervous breakdown 6 months. Now
he has a kidney malfunctioning. It took everything in him
to leave, mostly his children. If you are two months away
from marriage, I'd think extremely hard about whether you
can live with your partners lack of physical display.
Also, what about children. Children deprived of affection
are proven to develop problems. Good luck to you.
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