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Moresome - Robert

Please keep an open mind about this. I am newly (1 year) married to a wonderful sexy woman. We are mature (45). It is the second marriage for both of us. I have a burning desire to watch her have sex with another man. I asked her about this and she was quite turned on by the idea and said she would do it. I asked her who she would feel comfortable with. She said she would prefer a "professional", so that he would have a good body for me to watch, and he could disappear from our lives afterwards. We are both okay and consenting on this. I do not feel jealous or threatened. She is not being coerced. What would be wrong about doing this? Yes, I know about STDs.

From: Bernd

Besides STD's, the main danger is that once done, "you can't go back." As long as both of you can talk thru whatever unexpected feelings and fears that may come up, and as long as you give each other permission to call a halt to things whenever one of you needs to, the risk is manageable.

You may find it safer to wade into your first experience with another married couple, rather than someone you'll never see again. There are "swing" organizations throughout North America and the rest of the world, and most members value friendship as much as, if not more than, the sexual part. That other couple, who has already had experience dealing with the questions and worries you have, can help you get a clearer idea of the risks and perks that are part of the non-monogamy playing field. If you decide to explore this route, take the same care in choosing another couple that you would choosing any new friends. Look for a couple with a strong caring relationship of their own, who show respect for your feelings and relationship, and give you all the time and room you need to explore each step into the pool, without pressuring you.

Chances are, if your first experience is mutually gratifying, you aren't going to want to stop there. Having friends you both trust to share your new forays into this unexplored territory will give you a level of emotional safety you won't get with strangers. Those are my thoughts, anyway.

From: Bridget

Hi, I just thought I'd give you my thoughts on what you're about to do. My husband and I thought it would be a wonderful fantasy for the us to invite another woman to have sex with us. All was fine and dandy until my husband became extremely jelous when he saw how campatible the other woman and myself were. Now, keep in mind that we did talk about all possibilities before hand, and yet, emotions still got in the way. It was an experience I'll never forget, nor do I regret it, I just wish my husband enjoyed it as much as I did. But if you feel comfortable with your feelings, then I say GO FOR IT!


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