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Forgiveness - Susan

HI All: I found this on another site and wanted to share it. Hit me RIGHT between the eyes..........

How can I forgive?

I forgive when I give up my right to hurt you for hurting me. You have wounded me deeply. It makes me feel diminished, unworthy. And it was a blow delivered unfairly, wrongly, an intentional betrayal.

And you have not asked me to forgive you. You have not apologized, you have not begged, you have not offered restitution for what you have done. Indeed, you need never know that I have forgiven you.

When I forgive you, I give up my right to self-righteous anger, to self-pity, to bitterness. I choose to see you as a human being like me, not as something different, alien, from myself.

In forgiving you, I face up to the pain of what you have done to me, but I choose to move on. My life has changed. I can never go back to what my life was before and our relationship cannot be the same. I am open to the possibility of a relationship with you, but I am not obligated to restore it.

My memory will force me to relive again and again the wrong you have done to me. So I will have to forgive you anew each day. But I choose to do that, rather than stoke the fires of hate each day.

I choose to remember the past and what has happened between us in a way that gives me hope for my future. I choose not to look back, but to move forward through my changed life.

Adapted from "The Art of Forgiving," by Lewis B. Smedes.

From: Autumn

I usually just read and do not post. This is so beautiful I just had to reply. It all fits my situation except the part about the other person not asking for forgiveness. Thank you for posting it. I am dealing with a partner who was unfaithful and I think this will help me alot in being able to forgive.

From: Texan

Aside from the part about the other person not asking for forgiveness, I agree totally with that special piece you posted. I hold the power to move on,and am doing so. I do forgive...not only her, but myself...for I know I can't continue to beat myself up over what has happened.

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Also see the additional thread Forgiveness, begun by Isis as a result of this posting.


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