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 Abuse - Daisy
No one knows hurt till they've been in an abusive
relationship. I'm 18 years old and I've been physically
abused by my boyfriend for 2 years. I never thought it
would happen to me. But it did. At the beginning of our
relationship, things were great. It was like a fairytale.
Anything I wanted I got. Then about 5 months into our
relationship he started getting really controlling. If I
wasn't home everytime he called I was "Out cheating
on him". Pretty soon I was being isolated from my
friends. If a guy called me he would scream and yell and
threaten him. One day one of my best friends(a guy) Sam
called me. Of course my boyfriend was at the house with
me. I let Sam go as quickly as possible. As I hung up the
phone, the most horrible look came on my boyfriends face.
He slapped me. I was in a state of shock. Then, he told
me to get in his car. So I did.
We arrived at his house and went up to his room. As I
was walking past the wall, he grabbed my throat. He
slammed my head into the wall. I don't know if I was
crying more because of the shock or the pain. He
proceeded to kick my head once he had gotten me down. He
gave me a bloody nose and a black eye too. How was I
going to cover this up? The next day at school I had to
wear pants and a long sleeve shirt in the middle of
summer. The abuse didn't stop here. It only got worse.
About 7 months into the abuse I was confronted by my
parents. I came home from my boyfriends house and they
both stood there crying. They told me they had heard from
one of my friends that my boyfriend was hitting me. I
panicked. I denied it though. They told me it didn't
matter because they were getting a restraining order on
him. That night I downed the remaining bottle of sleeping
pills. Nothing serious happened to me, I just slept for 2
days while my boyfriend was out partying. He came to my
house one day to try to convince my parents he was
innocent, and of course, I backed him up. Now they let me
see him. He is doing time in jail now for drugs, but he
still threatens me saying if I cheat on him, he'll beat
the shit out of me and whoever else is with me.
 From: Trish
daisy, PLEASE listen, you have made the first step.
PLEASE let your parents get the restraining order. STOP
feeling sorry for him. he is the one with a serious
problem and honey, you can't help him, he's made you feel
that way, but believe me, you can't allow him to keep you
his victim, the only way you can help him, is to let the
system make him responsible for his actions. and yes, it
is so hard to say NO MORE, but your parents have already
expressed their concern. please allow people to help you.
I, like so many others didn't have anyone to turn to, we
start to feel responsible for the abuser (and that's just
what they want). Please say no more and do what ever it
takes, because honey there is life out there. Take that
next step, it won't be easy, but it is the beginning of
getting control back in your life. We are ALL with you
Daisy, you are not alone. God Bless you.
From: Diane
When I hear things like this, tears of rage fill my
eyes. Please Daisy, please cut off all contact with this
manipulative person. I know, first hand, how trapped you
probably feel. I also know the destructiveness of two
co-dependents trying to have a relationship. A walking
time-bomb. Like drug and alcohol addiction, love
addiction is insidious, it eats away at your soul, it
destroys your life and your mind, and I believe, your
body.
I would start with a professional (and shopping around
is necessary) to explore why parts of you accept this
unacceptable treatment. This forum will offer you love,
support and guidance, but the hard stuff is going to have
to bubble up from deep inside of you.
Though I don't know you, you're in my prayers and
thoughts. Take care of yourself, -one second, one minute,
one hour at a time- ask yourself constantly on the
decisions you make during this challenging time- is this
the most loving thing for myself? Be true and centered,
be utterly honest, stay gentle and loving.
From: Josie
Thank you Diane and Trish for your comments. You have
said all I wanted to say. My heart bleeds for you daisy.
Please, please let your parents shield you from this
monster. Thinking of you...
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