This and that - coolpiggy (kim)

I have been going through alot of growth these past few months. The one thing that has kept me focused each day is something Bernd once said about having everything that I need for today. Just today. Don't think any further on. You have to deal with the here and now. Tomorrow truly may never come, and even if it does, it may be quite different than anticipated, and possibly even better if you don't "fret" over it.

I am slowly but surely gaining a peace within that I didn't have a few months ago and much of this is possible because I am NOT in a romantic relationship. It is so easy for me to lose myself when I am with someone that I love. It's part of old pattern of life that I have to get rid of. I am discovering my creative side once again. I am feeling good about being a single mom on her own. Each battle (like car repairs :( ) is really just a life lesson. It's sort of an adventure. I now know that I can go to a junk yard all by myself and buy a part for a car. I don't have to have a man do that for me.

Okay, I've rambled. But, I just want others to know that before you can truly assess your relationship with someone else, you should look at your relationship with yourself first. Get all the warm fuzzies from inside you. That frees up the other person to love you their way and not the way in which you need to be filled up! Does that make sense? I hope so. Thank you Linda and Bernd for this great safe place. Cyber hugs to you all.

From: PD

Very well put!! That is exactly what I am trying to do...is take it one day at a time. And you are so right about fretting about what has happened or what might happen or all of the what-if's in life. Each day I am feeling a little better about myself and the things I am accomplishing within.

From: trish

coolpiggy, paragraph 1: yes paragraph 2: yes, yes paragraph 3: YES, YES, YES.

From: Isis

Coolpiggy, All I can say is that I hope you keep going strong. I admire the strong person that you are :)!

From: Cindi

Hi CoolPiggy, I loved what you had to say. I have come to the realization in the last few months that I am addicted to relationships. I have decided to take at least a year off and not be in any kind of romantic relationship. The idea is to have time to realize that I can live and be happy without a man in my life. Also to have time to get to know who I am and what I can do and what I want out of life. I had separation anxiety at first and some withdrawal from the addiction. I am now feeling more alive and I too am finding the creative side of myself.

If someday I should ever find another person that I would like to share my life with, we will both be better off if I can be a whole person all by myself. If I should never find anyone, then I will know that I can still be a very happy person and that I have everything I need today.

From: robert

Kim, Congratulations on your discovery! After looking at my life, I have found that I need to be able to do the same thing that you have done. I am lost at the present time and feel that the main reason is because I have no idea who I am or what my relationship is with myself. I feel like there is someone screaming inside me "Stop me before I hurt again!" Thank you for showing us that there is hope in recovery.

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