To Mel, Kelle, Luise ----- From: Lost Love - Date: 03 Nov 1997

Hi,

I happened to check in the archive files and read your stories. It is eery how they sound like that of my wife's. She recently told me that she has lost her romantic feelings for me, and it's probably been for a number of years, as a result of my neglecting her during the same time period (please see my posting "marriage on verge of breakup"). I was hit by a triple whammy: to find out she doesn't love me anymore, she doesn't want to live with me anymore, and she has fallen in love with someone else who's awesome. Now the interesting thing is she doesn't feel a need to be with this other person all the time, and can just be friend with him, but would enjoy outings with him now and then, to possibly very romantic spots, like the beach, his boat, etc... The way this all happened still seems strange to me, but I guess anything and everything is possible. I'm just curious as to how your respective situations turned out. I read some of the responses to your stories and found them quite enlightening, but were you able to put any of the suggestions to work? And did you finally stay with your family, or did you have to call it quit? Also, after you have felt that way, i.e. no love left for your husbands, how difficult was it to be intimate with your SO? Because for my wife, now that the problem is in the open, it is quite an effort for her, almost like having to make love to a total stranger. I practically never demanded her to have sex with me of course, but her character is such that simply because she anticipated that I wanted of her, she would have sex with me, then feel bad afterward. But during it, she was able to always enjoy and climax strongly, but she attributed that to pure physiological responses, which I believe may very well be true. There was even a time when she felt just like a sexual object, because she didn't feel any spiritual connection from my part. How did you resolve the issue of not having any feelings toward your SO? I hope you were able to find workable solutions to you life. I find all these divorces so depressing, especially for all the kids involved. I guess I wanted to know if I have any chance of making my marriage work, and that's a very difficult question. Anyway I'd like to hear from you ladies again, and may be you can pass along some new tricks to restore marriages...

Take care. You ladies are very special

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