Give her Space

Give her Space ----- From: KevinW - Date: 03 Nov 1997

My wife of 8 years (2 children ages 4 & 5)says that she is no longer sure that this (marriage to me) is what she wants in life. She tells me she has had doubts from the very beginning and that over the years we have grown distant. Part of the problem has been the lack of affection, etc. but she agrees that we could work on that. The problem is that she says she has now become "closed" to me. That is, she just cannot open up to become receptive to working on the marriage. She has been to counseling but after 3 sessions she did not feel she was making progress towards opening up. I've asked her to tell me what I can do to help but she says nothing. She says its just her and there is nothing I can do. I am becoming frustrated as she has become somewhat cold and will not allow me to touch her. I am now considering separation to give her the space I think she needs to sort things out. I am very confused as to whether this will help or hurt. She says she really doesn't know if a separation will help but doesn't want to encourage me to stick around if it is becoming too painful. Right now it really feels to painful but I can't deny that I love her and want to give everything I can to save the marriage without destroying myself. I would appeciate comments from anyone who might be able to help me with this decision.