Verbal Abuse Advise

Verbal Abuse Advise ----- From: What? - Date: 03 Nov 1997

You're advise to the young woman writing in about her vefbally abusive boyfriend is sadly misguided. Your interpretation of her having been in a family of origin that was abusive in some way is not likely, although it's 100% that he was. Tell her to get out -- she is simply too kind and trusting and mutual-thinking (rather than dominating) oriented to be in a place with a sick young man -- he's destroyed her confidence -- she's trying to help him -- co-dependence? Maybe, and maybe he's destroyed her self-esteem -- but to say that her next relationship will mimic the one with this wierdo is beyond belief. I was once married to an abusive man -- I got rid of him -- he quit abusing me the moment we were divorced -- have had wonderful relationships with men since then -- have not encountered that kind of abuse again until just a year ago (first man in 15 years). It's not her -- it's him.

Why is it that with a history as rife with maladjustments as yours that you would be giving advice to anyone? I hope people with little sophistication and experience can protect themselves from your "insights".