Mental Abuse

Mental Abuse ----- From: M - Date: 04 Nov 1997

I have been invovled with a wonderful girl now for the last year. She came from a abusive relationship, physical and mental. The mental abuse was really bad, anywhere from not being able to wear shorts or having to look straight ahead at dinner, so as not to look at anyone else. There are amny others things that are unbeleivable to me and don't see how a person couls treat this girl in that way. She was in this relationship for four years and the abuse started 1 month after they began dating. Once she finally made the choice to leave I was lucky enough to become a part of this girls life.

The problem that I am facing now is that she is considering going back to him. To back up just a little our relationship is wonderful, she expresses her love to me in a way that I have never seen before, and thanks me all the time for helping her out of this terrible relationship.

She does not know why she misses this guy and can't beleive that she would want to leave me and the happiness that I bring her. I can't belaive it either, I have tried to help her the best I can assuming that she is obviousle confused in a way that she doesn't even realize.

I am basically looking for some advice to send her or give to her, because she is expressing that she wants help but she can't get the feelings of this person out of her head even though she knows it was a very bad situation for her.

Please give me some insight on similar situations and how come she might go back to him even though it is abusive and she now has someone that cares about her very very much and i belaive she feels the same about me.

One added note is that she said she feels like her life was in better order when she was with him, my feeling on that is because he told her exactly what to do and when, she passed up many opportunities because she had to stay home until he got off work. I am just the opposite I support anything she wants to do and give her the freedom that I thought she wanted. Maybe this is the problem, I don't know.

Please help. I don't want to loose this girl and I would be concerned for her safety if she went back to him.