Need input, am I overreacting?

I have a problem. There is a man in my church who is a leader of a fellowship group. At first I thought he tried to make me feel welcome. He followed me around, smiled at me and stared at me. I thought he was interested in me.

But then I found he was marrying someone else. So I thought, OK I misjudged the guy and I thought he wanted to be friends with me. It so happens that his fiancee was my Sunday school teacher, I met her and thought she was nice(she wanted to invite me over, but I don't remember her from my youth at all). But then he continued staring at me, following me, eavesdropping in conversations, etc at church.For example, he's in the choir, so he would look at me from the front to where I was sitting in the congregation. He would try to follow me with his eyes, and he eavesdrops in my conversations, later picking up a conversation with me using the same subject as I discussed privately with my friends! (I don't like that.)

I started to get worried when he asked me "How many blocks do you live off the #1 Highway exit?" as if he were asking for directions to my apartment for no apparent reason at a farewell party for one of our members. I didn't tell him of course. I thought he was acting inappropriately when he asked me that.

I tried to observe him with the other people at church. I noticed he flirted with a girlfriend of mine asking her,"When are you going to have me over sometime?".

On the other hand, he has some good qualities though, he does surprise visits to a man who is suffering from mental instability.

To complicate things I've met creeps before and I get this feeling that this guy is displaying the same behavior as they did (I was almost in situations where strange men followed me in my apartment wanting sex and wanted to rape me).

So I asked friends for advice and they said I should stay away from him, so I did that. I tried to keep a distance from him, just to play it safe. He sensed that I backed away from him , and now he's angry, furious with me. I did not know he would react this way. I tried to say hi to him and have a talk, maybe I misunderstood him, but he refuses to talk. In fact, he's becoming hostile & bitter towards me. Since then, I haven't gone to his wedding, I tried to avoid him.

I asked a person who knew him more than I did if I misjudged his character. To make things matters worse she said that she is worried about his preoccupation with Japanese women (he told her he liked them and wouldn't mind marrying one). She also told me that he flirted with her when she first started attending there and everyone in the fellowship thought he was in love with in her.But she said he has a tendency to do things without remembering or being aware of it. She also told me that he once almost touched a girl on the bum area when he was playing tag with a girl in the fellowship ---that girl only thinks of him as a brother.

What should I do next? Did I do the right thing? I'm afraid that if I become friends again and become close, he might cross the line and try to take advantage of me. It seems he is hurting right now but I don't trust him. I don't know if his intention is to be friends (because his wife wants to know me), or if he wants to fool around. He senses that I'm a lonely person and I know he cares about me but his behaviour is hard to decipher. Is it possible to have a close, emotional relationship with a married person without calling it adultery? Where do you cross the line?

Copyright Relationshipweb.com