Re: Lost Love

Re: Lost Love ----- From: Luise - Date: 07 Nov 1997

Wow, i read your post after talking to ke11e that you had responded to us. Ditto EVERYTHING that Ke11e posted to you. She and I connected here by divine intervention we are sure. We are in such similar situations that it is scary sometimes. I could list all our similarities here but it would take a while! (we even share the same first name!) To answer your question about what has happened to me.....I am still with my husband. If you read my very first posts you know that I don't feel I ever loved him in the way I want to love a spouse. why did I marry him? I thought I was making a mature decision......he was (and is) funny, witty and smart. I saw laughter, security and someone I thought would be a good father. He is all those things still, but there were other larger character issues that didn't allow a love for him to grow. He knows all of this and I have been in and out of counseling for 5 years and have told him that he needs to do the same for HIMSELF if not for us. He hasn't made the move yet....he figures I'm still here I guess. The outsider that I was in touch with (long distance---1500 miles away!) was a guy I had dated in college and a 'possible' missed opportunity. He has since divorced and is now with someone else. What am I doing? Throwing myself into doing for others and of couse my children come first which is why I couldn't ever entertain divorce. I could have IF things were abusive, etc. and it was really bad for the kids but we do things as a family and I will be lost when they graduate form h.s. in 4 and 5 years and leave the nest. I am not a selfish person and I beleive that is why so many people break up their families, (NOT ALL by any means, just some) for personal satisfaction. Hopefully what I'm doing menas that I'm smart enough to realize that if I did that now for personal satisfaction, in the long run I would not be any happier. I hope this answers your questions and ODAT is the best advice I can give. C'est la vie! Luise