Re: Verbal Abuse Advise

Re: Verbal Abuse Advise ----- From: kim (wolfie) - Date: 08 Nov 1997

Josie,

First of all, I am sorry for your experience! I truly am - and if that happened to me, I would feel like a victim.

I am just bringing forth a new way of looking at things. First of all, when things "happen" to me, I try to find it in my heart to forgive this person - I feel that if I do, I am free. If I carry rage and anger in me, I am just setting up myself to attract it again at a later date. It is like relationships - when we walk away from an awful situation in peace, we are free - when we carry rage, who is to say that we won't attract it again - you hear of stories of people who continue to be attracted to people who treat them like shit even though they were so wonderful in the beginning. It is something within themselves that needs to be healed. Let me give you an example. When someone treats me like shit, I recognize that they are just mirroring my own beliefs that I am bad and deserve to be treated this way. And then there is the other way of looking at it - that I am you and you are me. Let me explain. I feel that people who do this type of thing are not "bad" but are living in fear. Maybe HE was molested, maybe he was this sweet little thing and his mother or father did things to him. Maybe just maybe, the ONLY way he felt "in control" and safe was when he felt Power over another individual. Power, you know, comes from fear. And people who abuse their power are very very scared little people - they feel it is the only way to be in control. As a child they felt so powerless and so hurt and betrayed that the only way THEY feel "safe" is to abuse their power. Evil? I think not. Scared and full of fear - yes. I say that if I can find it in my heart to forgive these people, I am free. I know that for me, that I very well could have been a person in a past life who abused my power, hurt other people, murdered, did all kinds of things because I was living in fear. Am I evil - I think not. Full of fear - yes. So when someone does something "awful" to me, I recognize the awfulness I am capable of, and I find it in my heart to forgive them and by forgiving them I am forgiving me. I am free. I am breaking the chain of cause and effect. I am breaking the endless circle that just goes on and on and on. By forgiving ALL, I am forgiving me for we are all connected and all one. I am free.

Most people are afraid of this way of thinking. It is easier to blame others, to be fueled with anger and fear, but I know that, for me, unconditional love is the way toward freedom, love and joy. Do I do this all of the time - ha - that is a laugh. But I do recognize that I am responsible for creating everything in my life on some level. I get bothered by people who want to live in the way of "victimhood". Why? Probably because there is a piece within me who likes to claim to be the victim and I haven't learned to love that WITHIN me yet. You see - I feel there is no separation from anything or anyone. I feel that God is all there is and we are all One with God. I feel that Everything is made out of God stuff. There is only this One consciousness, this one power, this one Mind and we are all connected to it. I feel that I am you and you are me. If someone does something to me, forgiveness sets me free. And I do all of this very very very imperfectly.

I no longer run from my own shadow. I feel that Mini Hitlers live inside us all. And on a Mass Consciousness, we all co-created Hitler.

You are right. I am a minority in how I feel. And my lesson in all of this is tolerance - knowing that there is probably a piece of me who would rather play victim or put blame then take responsibility for what I have attracted into my life and why. And yes, it is a more difficult way to live. I no longer have any scapegoats! But on the flip side, it can be incredibly empowering and freeing knowing that I am the master of my own ship. That I am the master of my destiny. And if I don't like my outer reality, I change my inner reality! I feel we were created so God could experience thru us - we are all One with God.

I mean no disrespect to you. I don't - and I am sorry for your pain. Namaste means - the God within me Honors the God within you. And this I do.

Namaste, kim