I still get scared.......

I still get scared....... ----- From: Betty - Date: 08 Nov 1997

I still get so scared and i have never been this scared in my life. I guess alot of times i just want to crawl under a rock and not come out....does anyone ever feel like that? i can't even hardly go outside anymore....i feel like everyone can see what i did.......i dont' know if i should reach out to my husband.....or let him be...i dont know if he wants to feel anything right now......if i knew i didnt have anything....i would go up to him....but since i dont know......i can't. everything is so intertwined......i feel like i make it worse by just being here.....he sees me how i am now......and i think he feels obligated to stay with me cause even though i did what i did.....he has known me for so long that i know he still cares.....and i feel so guilty for that and everything.