Immaturity

Immaturity ----- From: Auriane - Date: 10 Nov 1997

My heart goes out to all of you that has written in about their problems.

My problem seems trivial compared to some of the other problems, but I can't stand it anymore. I would be most grateful if I can get some feedback.

I've written before and greatly appreciate the helpful advice that was given to me. Thanks to all,especially to Bernd! The problem is my boyfriend (the same one)is so immature sometimes, it gets me so annoyed! We've been dating for 7 years now and we're both 25. He's always been immature, but has improved a lot through the years. He's a great guy and our relationship is perfect except for times when I feel he may be a bit selfish or immature. I've tried to accept him for the way he is and for the most part I usually blow it off when he acts that way.

My boyfriend has the responsibility of taking care of his 13 year old brother. Because his parents work and because of the big age difference, he feels obligated to share the burden of taking care of his brother, both financially and as a guardian. He is a great brother to him and I admire and respect him immensely for the role that he is taking. His brother just started high school and he hasn't been doing well in his classes. My boyfriend offered to attend the parents/teachers conference at his brothers school. After they both came back from the meeting, my boyfriend call me up and told me how it went. He told me that he met one of his brother's teachers who treated him disrespectfully because he wasn't the parent. My boyfriend then proceeded to make some comments about her to me over the phone, with his brother next to him, some comments which I felt was inapproriate for his brother to hear. Aside from calling the teacher a b****, he also said that she needed to be laid. I told him that he shouldn't say that with his brother around, after which he repeated the same comment.

After that incident, I told him that I thought he should be more careful about what he says around his brother because he is after all his brother's role model. He should try his best to set a good example for him. I've said this to him before. His response was of apathetic agreement. His behavior was cold and distant and it seemed as if whatever I said went through one ear and out the other. Was I out of place to have said anything? He had a right to be upset at the teacher, but how does insulting the teacher in front of his brother help him do better in school? It's been a few days now and I haven't heard from him. Is there more to this then meets the eye?

It's like he wants to be more of the cool brother, then the responsible guardian. I feel his brother's education is something serious and if he chose to take a role in improving his brother's grade like meeting with ihis teachers, then he should be more of the serious guardian and be more productive about it, instead of making childish and offensive remarks about the teachers to his brother. Besides, what does it say to his brother who looks up to him? Sometimes, I just feel like telling my boyfriend to grow up, but I know that would be detrimental.

Thanks for reading this. I hope someone out there can give me some comments and advice.

Am I being too