Re: Moodswings - how to cope? ----- From: Diane - Date: 11 Nov 1997

Josie-

Do I relate? Does anything sound familiar - only like EVERY SINGLE SHRED that you wrote!!!!!!!!! : ).

The only difference I am noting from this forum, girlfriends, etc. is the timespan. These changes last for at least 2 weeks. Sometimes a nearing month. I do suspect the seasonal change - we live in Alaska and by the end of October have literally no significant daylight. I am fine with that (I¹ve always been a pacific northwester) He on the other hand is from Southern California. Even though he¹s been here for 12 years, perhaps the over-adundance of sunshine in his youth has affected the lack of sunshine in his adulthood!

Yes, I really thought I was losing it when it first happened. For the person you are relating to to do a total 180° and then DENY there is anything wrong IS a major -huh?-

I also noted you thought perhaps he was still in love with the ex - me again too. The beginning of the end, yup, it all rings true. No sex? Uh-huh. Its funny though, the one common thing that through it all, was the snuggling. Our most favorite thing in the whole world, we only have 1 day out of the week to lounge around in bed, and he gets up to change his guitar strings and play with the cats? MAJOR ouch to my heart.

You also mentioned trying EVERYTHING for him to open up. Me too, but my list included sex :( (bad for me). I suppose its good that nothing I do works, because if it did, it would release me from the responsibility of ME and my own well-being. Wow, it is so, so very hard to not focus on another person when it feels like you are in the throughs of rejection.

I am learning that the most approprate emotions are the ones I feel naturally, completely. I find myself dealing with these difficult times in the usual grief pattern - denial, anger, depression, bargaining and then acceptance. Although the depression comes before the anger generally. Its humbling. I hope someday to be able to take the massive leap to the 5th step when this arises. That takes massive courage.

Thanks again for sharing. Your SO is extraordinarily lucky.

regards - Diane

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