Re: Immaturity

Re: Immaturity ----- From: trish - Date: 13 Nov 1997

Auriane, (pretty name)

Sorry it has taken so long to reply. First your 'problem' is not trivial. The actions you describe affect all around. I feel you did just right. You "corrected" him over the phone (his ears only). The couple day silent treatment could mean 'hurt pride'. He apparently is a proud person and I admire the 'responsibilty' he has taken on (our young people need more of it). Remember, you are the girlfriend 'correcting' him in a situation where he thought he was defending his younger brother. And you stated just that. You are quite insightful.

Communication skills are a learned task. Question: If you don't feel comfortable answering, that's ok, maybe just think about it. How do the 'adults' in his life communicate to each other. His parents, do they have a communitive relationship, do they discuss and come up with solutions to life's situations together, OR do they react and fuss about them? What about the other 'adults' in his life, what kind of atmosphere is your boyfriend exposed to? Am I making any sense here?

I admire your wisdom, and if you were my daughter, I would say, don't hesitate to speak up (remember it is when and how we say something), he needs to hear it from someone. Having the responsiblity he has and has had, he may be taking offense because he feels he is doing the right thing, but he just isn't aware yet, it is the way we handle a situation to get the results that are needed.

Just a few thoughts..Would have replied sooner, but I have a way of filling up a whole page with thoughts. Hope I made some sense with the shorter version.

Take care, love Trish