Re: girl troubles ----- From: Bernd - Date: 28 Nov 1997

It sounds like delayed grief. Ever run across someone who didn't cry at the funeral of someone close to them, yet years or moths later, found that they'd cry out of the blue for no apparent reason? My guess is that after your breakup, you didn't find something meaningful to fill the void the relationship left (such as new activities, another relationship, or new friends), and as time passes, you are feeling more and more of the hole it left inside. The loss of a relationship is damn hard to handle on your own, if not impossible. The more you can share the natural grief process you are going thru with someone supportive, the more this hole inside will begin to fill up with something that feels better, and leaves you less tied to hopes of "what if". A therapist, clergyman, trusted friend, or new friend can all be possible sources of support. I also found that finding a good book(s) on the struggles I was going thru helped too - it was like having a friend in my boookshelf, who was always there with words of insight when I needed them.

Hope this helps a bit.

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