My marriage is crumbling into devastation

My marriage is crumbling into devastation ----- From: InSearchOf - Date: 01 Dec 1997

Hi gang, Its been a few weeks for me since I have written. But I still read here all the time. I will keep it brief since I cannot quite get a handle on my current feelings. Something has happended that feels just like Bernd, Mzet and wolfie have told me. I have finally... almost surprisingly gained the ability to LET HER GO. And what a truly warm feeling has filled me. I am not totally there yet, but I have really gotten over the hump now. I feel a comfortable sense of ease in my feelings toward my wife. It feels so much different than a few weeks ago. Can't even really get the words to describe it. My healing has really taken me to a new level now, and it goes without saying...although I will anyway; the people here have helped me get there, by their support and their caring and their wisdom. I have just about finished the "Road less traveled" and along with that, I have felt a confidence in myself that my wife is seeing too. An what do ya know, she is now begining her long struggle to heal herself. She is not doing anything earth shattering, and is still continuing to live with HIM, but she has showed much much less fear with me, as I have with her. She talks to me with feeling and emotion as I do with her. I couldn't even look at her a few weeks ago. I have no idea how it will go from here on out, but I feel the confidence that however it does, so be it. I have turned her loose, and I feel I have learned that it's OK. I will be OK. No control of her, and no pressure on her has done wonders for both of us. She is free to work out her own life, without the fear of my manipulations or pressure. I feel so much better, even in my sorrow. I am gettin there folks. I truly am Thank you... to all of you for your support and care that each of you has extended toward me. I am deeply appreciative for your help. I'll continue to work toward my goals of "unconditional love" for my wife, and be strong for my children. Things are changing. Who know's, but Mzet told me to let her go, so she can be safe and make her own free choices, and that seems to be what she is doing. In our favor or not, she is free to decide herself on her own time and on her own terms. Bernd told me... If I am willing to do the time (and work for my own healing) that IT'LL BE WORTH IT!! I am willing and I still hope. Thank you ALL!! PEACE, and I'll be in touch. HUGZZZZZ to you guys. I am smiling at ya'll OUT!! InSearchOf