Re: Can fall out of love because of " I don't know" (wolfie)

Re: Can fall out of love because of " I don't know" (wolfie) ----- From: Bernd - Date: 02 Dec 1997

I got a few thoughts following this thread. I believe that genuine love offers us the promise, and yes GUARANTEE, of win/win/win. In other words, when we find the most LOVING solution to a difficulty, we find a solution that has NO downsides. (I don't mean that such a solution gives us EVERYTHING we want, just like I can't eat EVERYTHING at a large buffet, even though I wanna try! But when I look at what I REALLY want, I want a great dining experience - which I CAN have).

To me, when careers require a lot of commitment and energy (and choices that may conflict with other stuff we want), the key becomes one of improving the QUALITY of the time we have available for our relationships. How many of us have siad something like (or heard it) "I've had more fun today, than I've ever had in a whole year!" That's the key! If we can feel a miracle happen in an hour of being together, doesn't that magic carry us for a long, long time after???? To me, getting what I want most means letting go of what I want least. Like letting go of a dollar bill so that I can grab a hundred dollar bill someone's offering to me. Lynda and I used to complain a lot about the time we had together - neither of us was feeling really wanted, loved, appreciated, or giddly happy - whether we spend every evening together some weeks, or whether we spent just a few hours together. Our recovery work has helped us both see new slants on that. Now, when I take just a few moments to tickle her, play hide and seek in my sweater, or peekaboo, or other fun stuff, time suddenly becomes unimportant. We are learning to make NOW count, and more magical - no matter what we're doing. And we loveit!!!

Imagine, for example, the baseball player getting to his next game, and finding a homemade sock-puppet with his partner's name on it, and the words "I love you!" sewed across the sock's heart! And many miles away, a little kid rings his partner's doorbell, and hands her an autographed baseball, with the words "and a ball is what we'll have when I come back home!!".

is time standing still yet?????:)