Re: I feel so betrayed...

Re: I feel so betrayed... ----- From: wolfie - Date: 03 Dec 1997

I'm sorry about your pain, Confused.

Ouch, as David said!

First of all, it sounds like your husband is in the throes on addiction. I say this because, after I just read everything that has been going on in your life, it appears to me that he is having a hard time coping with it all, and so he is "escaping" into cyber sex land.

And I agree with you, in MY eyes, it is the same thing as having an affair (it really is) because what an affair is about is the lies, the deception, etc. There is nothing wrong with having multiple partners, lots of sex, etc. I see NOTHING wrong with that - HOWEVER, that is if both people are in agreement!!!! And are honest with all people involved - honesty is KEY!!!!!! I believe people get into trouble because of the lies, the deceptions, etc.

I believe, and I will say it one million times, that HONESTY is the most important ingredient to a wonderful, conscious loving relationship.

Having said all of that, yes, if I were you I would be incredibly pissed off right now!!! It also sounds as if you could use some incredible, gentle loving care in your life right now and so I say - GO FOR IT!!!! Do what it takes, at this moment, to give yourself the love you deserve, the support you need, the compassion you are looking for. You have been thru a HELL OF A LOT in this year so I would suggest that you do what you can, right now, to pamper yourself silly!!!! If your husband cannot be a true friend, a supportive influence in your life presently then you don't need that in your life (presently.) Confused, please do what you have to do get the love and compassion you need right now.

I believe that is the first step you can take. Go where you have to, do what you need for YOU!!!! If your husband chooses to escape in his "fantasies" and "addictions", that is his choice - however, YOU do not need to live with it!!! I would strongly recommend you to KEEP listening to your OWN intuition - and do NOT allow yourself to believe what others tell you, you are supposed to be feeling. Whatever you are feeling, you are supposed to be feeling!!! Keep letting yourself feel - and keep listening to your intuition!!!

The healing process in regards to your husbands (cybersex affairs) comes later. I don't need to get into that with you now. You can heal all of that later. Right now, please take care of yourself and trust your intuition!

YOU ARE LOVED!!!!!!!! And you DESERVE ALL of the Love in the Universe!!! My prayers and thoughts are with you, kim