Re: long distance love ----- From: pam - Date: 03 Dec 1997

Right on, Bugga! It does sound like you need to slow WAY down, and look carefully at things here before moving into something based on a fleeting meeting and shallow contact (and phone calls are NO substitute for real life!) But a bigger issue rings in my head and heart when I read this. She is with another. No matter how unsatisfying her relationship is with him, she is with him nonetheless. Your contact with her is dangerously close to being an AFFAIR (if it isnt already one). Do you really want to start a relationship with deceit? And this is simply wrong. Her 'truck driver' is a human being. And if he is paying bills for her, it sounds like he isnt a total monster. He doesnt deserve this. It sounds like SHE needs to step way back, too, and ask herself why she is attracted to men who want to help her. She needs to be stronger and deal with her own needs, not continually search for men (plural) to fill her different holes. You sound like a great person, giving, generous, loving. Dont allow yourself to compromise your values. Perhaps the most loving thing you could do for her would be to allow her to deal with her own issues. And dont allow yourself to be sucked into the pit of deceitful relationships, this will permanently damage your ability to trust each other. This is hard for you, to walk away from unanswered questions, to possibly lose this very attractive person. If it is meant to be, it will. Let go and trust that.

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