Whe do you know the affair is over?

Whe do you know the affair is over? ----- From: Noni - Date: 06 Dec 1997

Hello everybody-

Here is question which I have been obsessing over for 2 weeks: how do you know when the emotional affair is over? is it over when he says he doesn't want to see her anymore? (Perhaps not, because it could be that he doesn't want to see her because he doesn't want the emotions that she stimulates in him). Is it over when he stops communicating with her (perhaps not, because maybe he isn't communicating because he doesnt want the emotional confusion). Wouldn't it be over if he saw her again and didn't feel anything like the emotional bond "love" he felt before?

This is my obsession- that he should go to see her again (she lives on the other side of the US) and then be able to tell me if it is truly "over".

Or am I asking the wrong question here? Why can't it ever feel like it has ended forever? Why can't I give up looking for the magic clue that will tell me it is OVER over?