Re: Breaking up???

Re: Breaking up??? ----- From: Bugga - Date: 07 Dec 1997

So your boyfriend says he hasn't WANTED it to work for awhile? Well then, if he hasn't WANTED it to work, why didn't he tell you? It sounds like there's more of a communication problem between you and him. Your family may only be trying to spare you from hurt by telling you the things they have. Of course, I don't care about another's religion or cultural differences. It makes no difference what color, race or religion. If that is part of the problem with your family, that's their problem, not yours. If it doesn't work out with your boyfriend, it may have nothing to do with this issue. It's hard keeping a relationship without the blessings from your family and friends. Especially if the religious and cultural differences have nothing to do with their reasons. Maybe their reasons make sense. Only you know. I wouldn't fear the I Told you So's so much. But did they tell you so? If not, make sure it's clear to them it didn't work out for reasons other than what they told you. And make sure you realize fighting an uphill battle isn't any easier for most people while hearing "It won't work".

Now you may be feeling lost and alone because you sort of sacraficed one for the other. Did you though? I don't think so. You did what YOU needed to do. And what you did takes a lot of courage. I know what its like to in a situation like this. I know what its like to have the religious and cultural differences too. And not have the stamp of approval from the families. You can't really share anything with them because "they know" the answer. But remember; your family probably has a lot of their own feelings of loss and frustration over this. There are not really any winners, and not really any satisfaction in saying I told you so. Your safety, happiness and well-being is probably their most important concern. I would probably go home. I'm not telling you to do this, but if it is too difficult to stay there on your own, go on home. At least it's for relationships that WANT to be worked out, right?

I hope you find your answers with the least pain possible. I wish you very good luck too.

((( ))) BIG HUGG Luv, Bugga