Re: Band-Aid from Father w/ out lOve... ----- From: eml - Date: 08 Dec 1997

Your posting really struck a nerve with me. I too was abused as a child. I understand your pain. At 35 I decided to confront my father with the abuse. I brought up the time he took my entire family out to the back yard pointed a gun at each of our heads and told us the order he was going to kill us. His reply to this confrontation was well you weren't a good kid. I was only 5 at the time! Well at the time I was more emotionally stable and I realized that you can't get LOVE from someone that doesn't know how to LOVE and wasn't it sad that it was something he didn't have. I cut off almost all contact with him and only saw him twice more before he died. I thought I'd worked thru my issues, but I've come to understand its a life time commitment to loving yourself. I forgot to take care of me over the years and fell back into the same pattern of trying to get the love I need, just doing it with new faces. I'm grateful for this forum, its a place of understanding and love and each day is helping rediscoverme. I have to remember that I have to be MY OWN Loving parent. It is helping me to imagine myself as a small child getting the love and acceptance I was denied. To hug myself whenever I need to feel loved. I'm also working on daily affirmations. You can heal your life by Louise L Hay is a great book to assist in this. Take care. Love and hugs to you. eml

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