Re: Band-Aid from Father w/ out lOve... ----- From: trish - Date: 09 Dec 1997

((((crushed))))

Few of the people here know that I am relating to your emotional turmoil.

I'm feeling there is a bigger picture here, than just with your father. I'm feeling that maybe you're thinking why won't they support me on this (your sisters/brother), why don't they stand up and say something.

Everyone deals with pain and confusion in the only way they know how. Molestation and incest/abuse within the home is too shameful for many people to share. I didn't discuss details of my childhood to anyone until I came, here, to this forum, where there are loving, understanding family members.

Most of my life, I just wanted my family, to acknowledge the garbage that was going on. They couldn't. So it became up to me. I didn't know how to reach out and seek a counselor or therapist. So I had a bumpy road to travel.

When I married my second husband, circumstances led us to different parts of the country and the world. For 5 years I was drawn to being a volunteer with Outreach Centers and Support Groups, 'for others'. I can't begin to tell you, how I began to heal. Listening to the hundreds of cries and trying to comfort, I began to heal myself (by God's grace).

Wanted to share a bit dear friend. Being 'hurt' by a family member is a very confusing hurt. It destroys trust and confidence in our lives.

Before I close, one thing, your father is living in his own personal hell. The love and understanding and answers you feel you need so much, probably will not be heard from him. If he understood why he has done what he did, would he have done it?

Again, I feel there is alot going on in your heart that is not only directed at your father.

God Bless you friend, my prayers......Trish

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