TO TEXAN

TO TEXAN ----- From: wolfie - Date: 17 Dec 1997

Texan,

You say that you feel love is about selflessness - giving of yourself with NO thought of return. However, because your Lover could not give you love in return you are suing her????? I am sorry but it is obvious from these posts who your Lover was - correct me if I'm wrong.

Of course this is purely none of my business but you posted here and in your post you are giving mixed messages. You are saying that Love is about selflessness and yet because you didn't receive the Love you wanted, you don't know what you had found with her. And now that you are receiving Love in return, you are in love.

I would like to share a different point of view. I would like to share that YOU made a choice to get involved with a woman who was already married. To me, that sounds like a person setting themself up for disapointment - a person who on some level fears commitment and intimacy. All I am suggesting here is that it takes two - you were both responsible for it not working out. There is no blame here. Both of you created this experience. You are not a victim.

Second of all, I believe you CANNOT give to another, what you cannot give to YOURSELF first. So in essence, Yes, one needs to Love self first and the more I love myself the more I am able to Give selfless love and compassion and LOVE LOVE LOVE to another. However, I cannot give to someone what I do not have within me first - If I do that, then in essence what I am doing is - giving because I WANT SOMETHING back - I want love back because I don't have it within me. So, to disagree, I believe we have to Love self first and that is the road to self mastery - that is the way to true and unconditional love. If I can love every single piece within me, I could love the whole world as well. Other times I enjoy giving even if my heart isn't quite in it - even when I want to get angry instead - but instead I take a deep breath, and I attempt to treat them as I would want to be treated - because in essence I am treating ME in that way - what goes out, returns.

Just some ramblings from the heart........