Re: Turtle on the Snail's Back

Re: Turtle on the Snail's Back ----- From: Bernd - Date: 17 Dec 1997

I suspect you are going thru the same kind of struggle we all deal with, sooner or later in our recovery process. I needed outside insight to help me see what was happening with me, and why.

My guess is that we all reach a stage where it's time to gently nudge our brains away from the lead position in our recovery. Our heads have led the way so much, in learning to listen to our inner voice and emotions, searching for new info and insights, and putting pieces of the puzzle back together in ways that make more sense. I think it's only natural that - when we reach this point - our brains draw the conclusion that it's missing some vital pieces of info, because it feels like we've hit another swamp that - this time - our brains can't get the direction it needs from our inner voice and emotions.

I've had - and still have - quite a struggle with this. It's called simplifying. The "vital piece of info" that the brain is really missing is that "less is more". Another paradox.

What's the easiest kinds of puzzles to put together? The ones with the fewest pieces. It doesn't matter how big the puzzle is, or how many differnet colours, hues, and details the puzzle has. The ones with the fewest pieces are simply the easiest!

My recovery over the past year has taken me more and more towards the word "simplifying" - moving my brain over in the drivers seat, to give my inner voice and emotions equal seating. Lemme tell you, I don't do it without panic. After all, my brain has had a lot of experience in running my life, and doing it's best to keep me as safe as it can. But then, it never really had much experience sharing the driver's seat with my emotions and inner voice, so to "let go" is a pretty big leap of faith, every time it relinquishes control.

In short, I needed to quiet down - to simplify what I had learned and experienced, and make it more solid. I didn't need MORE info - I needed to purify the experience and insights I had already gained. Like taking wheat and letting go of anything that doesn't help me make bread.

I've noticed similar changes in Mzet, and Wolfie, over the period both have been posting to the forum. The kid in me finds their postings easier to read and understand, and their posts feel "simpler" - and more powerful as a result.

When I started this post, I got an image of me in a pool, running around in circles trying to read more of the words God had written on the bottom. It's starting to dawn on me that the LESS I run around (trying to take in everything I can as quick as I can), the more I actually see CLEARLY. One clear insight is worth a dozen muddy ones!

So ironically, what I'm finding is that recovery was actually designed to be LESS "work" than it really is. It really IS supposed to be easy enough, that a child can do it! No wonder I was attracted so much to the "easy" fix - it rings echoes of a far greater truth than I ever realized.

I guess I just hadta learn HOW to do recovery the "hard work" way at first, so that I'd have something to compare with. The "hard work" way, as well, was really the only type of path that my brain knew of. So I guess I had to start in territory I was familiar with, in order to inch toward "simpler" lands.

These are my best guesses on the confusion you're experiencing right now.

P.S. If an angel is flying thru the air carrying a turtle on a snail's back, how fast is the turtle travelling??????? Would a greyhound dog being carryied by that same angel be travelling any faster????????:)