It's not working....

It's not working.... ----- From: Barbara - Date: 18 Dec 1997

This trying to let go and finding happiness within myself is not working. I read every post on this forum and try to learn from all the wisdom and experience here. But my depression seems to get worse every day. I feel like I am dying inside, like there is nothing left inside of me. How can I try to take care of ME if I don't even know where ME is anymore... I used to think I didn't have a problem loving myself, but now I am beginning to hate whatever is left of myself. I have lost all interest in everything I once enjoyed, so I can't even divert my attention to some other activity. I no longer see beauty where I used to, everything looks depressing. If I ever was happy I don't remember what it felt like . It feels like my whole life was just an illusion. This forum is the last place where I find some resemblance of comfort. Thanks for letting me ramble on.