Re: Is it better to have loved and lost than never loved at all

Re: Is it better to have loved and lost than never loved at all ----- From: rapunzel - Date: 19 Dec 1997

Dear NiceGuy,

Of COURSE you are bitter and cynical. Your wound is very, very fresh, and you had a lot of hopes pinned on this relationship. You would hardly be human if you weren't hurt and angry, and I think everyone who's ever been through a breakup can understand how you feel that you will never, ever let anyone get that close to you again.

But you know what? It happens. Love is insidious that way. No matter how hard you steel yourself against it, no matter how much your intellect tries to manipulate your heart, it will find you. It may take years, but it WILL. Is this a good thing? I don't know; but I know that love, even unrequited, is one of the things that makes me feel most alive.

You suggest that being strengthened by experience is not necessarily a good thing. I think the kind of strengthening people mean is the kind that fortifies your spirit, that teaches you that a love lost is still a spiritual gain, that gives you deeper vision into what you want and don't want from a relationship so your next time will be that much better.

I won't kid you; you will feel like hell for a while. That's OK. It's NECESSARY. But with time the pain will ease, and you will heal. That's what time does.

Peace,