Re: It's not working....

Re: It's not working.... ----- From: Strongheart - Date: 19 Dec 1997

Barbara,

....would that I could be in the same room with you and listen to you, and hear you, and allow that within me which relates and empathizes with you, surround you. Would that I could say to you; "Barbara, stand aside. Let me take a running start, and with all my strength and faith, break down this wall that has you locked in". Would that I could in some way show you all of the wonderful things that you are GOING TO experience. These things I would do. I would do them for a friend, for anyone I care about. But God has set up the universe such that I, nor anyone else, can do that for you. All I, or anyone here, can do is help you to do it yourself. So many of us care about you! So many of us have been where you are, right this minute! So many of us have experienced the pain, confusion, and isolation that is part of depression. Please, please keep this line of communication open to us, so that together we can focus all of our love, hope, and wisdom on you to help you through this time. It WILL get better....

I have, on many occasions, during my journey of recovery, had to stop and very slowly and consciously ask for The Great Spirit (God) to come into my heart, and guide my life. Is this what we mean by letting go? For many of us it is the crucial first step. For those of us who are (or would like to be more) spiritually centered, it is a starting point. God (or The Great Father as my N.A. ancestry says) is the center of life. We are all children of this Father and of our Mother (the Earth). When we ask for guidance, it will be given to us. It is up to us to LISTEN and to ACT upon this guidance. Then, it is up to us to help each other along. And so here we are. I am not talking about religion here, I'm talking about FAITH in Spirit, your concept of 'Higher Power', God, whatever that means to you. (I just happen to be more open to the way my Shoshone ancestors practiced spirituality and faith).

Barbara, what I am speaking of here is a process. It is not a one time act or occurrence. It is a journey. Some journeys start slowly. Some journeys start with many problems, and the sights along the way are not all that pretty. But it is the journey that is important, because it will lead us to where we need to go. (If we are asking for guidance). In order for the journey to continue, there must be TIME. Time, however, does not need to be measured while upon this journey. It is only the milestones and the experiences, and the wisdom gained along the way that are important. Our CONCEPT of time is completly irrelevant to the continuation of the journey. Is a day too long? Take an hour at a time. Is an hour too long? Take a minute..... work within whatever space is comfortable to YOU. Are you with me here?

You mentioned the little girl in you coming out and throwing a tantrum. This is a good thing! Let her get it out, the kicking, the screaming, all of it. Then after she calms down, ask her what she would like that would make her feel better right at that moment. Then, whatever she (you) says, is an indication of where your journey may lead.

I wish I had more answers for you. I have learned so much, and yet I feel less than effective in being able to pass along that knowledge. There are others here at this forum who are better at it than I, but I will continue to offer whatever support I can give you. Please know that you are among friends, and that things WILL get better for you. Take good care of yourself...

Peace, love and many hugs {{{{Barbara}}}}, Strongheart