As I spend more time in this
relationship, I might be noticing that some of the things
I found so attractive earlier have become irritating. And
worse, I and my S\O are exact opposites in many more ways
that I ever realized. One is usually late, the other
punctual; one is cautious, the other takes risks at the
drop of a hat; one constantly worries, the other doesn't
seem to care about anything; one watches money
scrupulously, the other spends it with little thought.
And so on.
Each of us defends our way of doing
things, and it gets aggravating and frustrating when my
SO seems to refuse to see my viewpoint, and how right I
If I take the time to step back for a
moment though, often I'll get a sudden flash of insight.
For example, I saw that my caution was actually a fear
of risk, because in the past I took what I thought was a
safe risk, and got hurt very badly. My SO had the
opposite experience - they got hurt in the past by trying
to play safe.
What we discover is that each other's
behavior triggers the same fear and deep hurt we both
experienced long ago. Once we see our old, deep wounds
more clearly, we can begin healing them, by talking about
them fully with each other, and getting outside insight
when we need to.
Just for Today
Today I'll take a few moments to think
about how my SO's behavior aggravates me at times, and
see what treasures my frustration can teach me about
myself. If I won't learn my lessons, what gives me
the right to try and teach my SO?
Search your own heart. What pains you
in others may be in yourself also. - John Greenleaf
@Copyright Bernd Hansen - Contents may
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