As a child, I heard the words
"right" and "wrong" a lot. When my
behavior wasn't acceptable to someone else, it was
labeled "wrong". When I pleased others, they
praised me for being good, or behaving "right".
I now know the same words were used to
control my feelings and thoughts. It wasn't
"right" to cry, or be angry, or want something.
"You shouldn't be thinking that", I was told. I
felt so confused and afraid at times of being me.
I see and hear the same kinds of words,
especially inside my mind, in my relationship. If my SO
has grown up with the same confusion, it's no wonder we
treat each other the same ways we were treated as
But are my feelings or thoughts right
or wrong? Maybe they just "are" - just like
apples are neither right nor wrong; they simply exist. My
choices don't deserve to be called right or wrong,
because what someone considers right, another considers
wrong. It's time to look at my thoughts, feelings, and
choices in a different way.
Just for Today
Today I'll stop looking at my choices
as right or wrong, and instead simply look at whether
they're good or harmful to me. I'll let others decide the
same for themselves, and remember that something that's
okay for someone else might be harmful to me. If I look
at things this way, I can let go of a lot of arguments
that have stolen my precious time.
In nature, there are neither punishments nor rewards -
there are consequences. - Chinese Proverb
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