Why do relationships cause me so much pain at times? Maybe this isn't the right question - maybe I'd get more insight if I asked myself "what is the pain in our relationship trying to teach me?"
Most of the pain I feel falls into two main areas: choices my partner makes that are designed to hurt me, and choices either of us makes that don't have ill motives behind them. If I look closely, I'll probably find that most of the pain I felt was caused unintentionally.Why did I feel pain then? I may have blamed it on the "enough" word; my SO or me didn't remember/try/care/-think/work hard "enough", or didn't take my feelings into account "enough". Is it my partner or me, or the standards I put on us that is causing me a lot of the pain? If I can see that it's usually the latter, my pain can help me find out why I set myself up for such falls.
Often such pain comes from flooding in from deep hurts and fears from the past. If I grew up in a household where I was abused, mistreated, or where I didn't feel safe or loved, I may have needed to set standards on our behavior to give me a new sense of safety, and belonging.
Just for Today
@Copyright Bernd Hansen - Contents may be downloaded or copied for personal non-commercial use.