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Trust is an issue many relationships struggle with at one time or another. It may be little things, such as promising to be home for supper at 6, and then showing up at 7 several times. Or finding out my SO said they were going to a friend's house, then discovering they were at a bar or party instead.
When my partner lies to me or breaks a promise, I probably feel justified in being angry and hurt. Trust is likely something I believe is essential in a relationship. Am I perfectly trustworthy all the time though? Have I never broken a promise in my life?
When I hold my partner up to my standards of how trustworthy they should be, what I'm doing is giving them the message "you can only be as imperfect as I allow you". If instead, I accept that my SO has difficulty with honesty, I can let go of expecting them to meet my standards, and make choices that don't depend so much on what they do.
I can learn to trust my own intuition more. I can stop making my happiness depend on their honesty, and take care of my feelings in better ways. I can free them to learn the value of trust their own way, instead of my "lectures".
Just for Today
Today, I will stop myself whenever I'm
tempted to hold my partner up to my standard of how
trustworthy they should be. Instead, I'll take some time,
and look at how what I still need to learn about trusting
myself, and my inner voice.
Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure
that there is one rascal less in the world. - Thomas
Carlyle
@Copyright Bernd Hansen - Contents may be downloaded or copied for personal non-commercial use.