|
||||||||
  |
||||||||
| . | ||||||||
Most couples have arguments during their relationship. Some are heated discussions, provoked by actions that trigger deep anger, hurt, or other strong emotions. I dread having such times of upheaval in our relationship. Yet it's often during those troublesome periods that I find out things I never realized before about myself and my partner.
For instance, my SO becomes extremely upset that I have been late one too many times, and I discover though the tears and screaming that they had a terrifying childhood experience once when their parents were late picking them up. An explosion over sexual struggles reveals that I was once raped, and had been too ashamed to tell them about it.
When I experience turbulent times, it could help me if I paused for a moment, and asked myself if there is something that I or my partner am afraid to be truthful about? Often there is; once I realize that, it becomes easier to handle those fears through kindness and understanding, not through further lashing.
Just
for Today
Do I dread troubled times in our
relationship, or do I accept them as an important way of
learning about each other more? Maybe it's not the
trouble itself that harms our relationship; maybe it's
our attitudes about it. Although I have no control over
my partner's attitude, I can change mine.
Today I'll treat trouble like a
porcupine carrying a diamond - once I stop being afraid
of it, I can thoughtfully and carefully get its treasure.
Trouble that leads us to truth is a friend.
@Copyright Bernd Hansen - Contents may be downloaded or copied for personal non-commercial use.